Relationship Jokes

Huge Guy and Tiny Girl Get Married

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?"  The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.  "His friend says, "You know, that doesn't sound too bad!"  The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

What's In a Name Anyways

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey... My Love... Darling... Sweetheart... Pumpkin, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."
Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Drilling Rights

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. "What's the problem?" "I want to hit that adultering bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man. "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!" "Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous