Relationship Jokes

Valentine Sex

As an easy way to save money, a young couple decided that every time they have sex the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank on the nightstand. On Valentine's night, he was unusually athletic and accidentally knocked the piggy bank off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten and even twenty dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the paper money?", to his wife which replied, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

Anonymous

Shots Fired

Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene.  After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor,  they called their sergeant for advice on his cell phone. 
  
 "Hello Sarge.”      "Yes.” 
 "It looks like we have a homicide here. “
 "What happened?”
 "A woman shot her husband for walking on the wet floor she had just mopped.” 
 "Have you placed her under arrest?”
 "No sir.  The floor is still wet."

Anonymous

Healthy wife

May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.

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Anonymous