Redneck Adoption

Billie and Tillie were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him!"

Hillbilly Marriage

A hillbilly husband died and left everything to his wife. He put a provision in his will, though, that she couldn't touch any of it until she turned 14.

Redneck Forecast

Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.