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The best jokes and joke writers!

Redneck Reception

You might be a redneck if...

...it's easier to rotate your home than your TV antenna.

Arkansas Hotel

Q: How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel?

A: When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead!"

Why Rednecks have low Stress

Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they don't understand the seriousness of most medical terminology

Medical Term :  Redneck Definition

Artery : The study of paintings

Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria

Barium : What doctors do when patients die

Benign : What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section : A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan : Searching for Kitty

Cauterize : Made eye contact with her

Colic : A sheep dog

Coma : A punctuation mark

Dilate : To live long

Enema : Not a friend

Fester : Quicker than someone else

Fibula : A small lie

Impotent : Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain : Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff : A Doctor's cane

Morbid : A higher offer

Nitrates : Rates of Pay for Working at Night

Node : I knew it

Outpatient : A person who has fainted

Pelvis : Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative : A letter carrier

Recovery Room : Place to do upholstery

Rectum : Nearly killed him

Secretion : Hiding something

Seizure : Roman Emperor

Tablet : A small table

Terminal Illness : Getting sick at the airport

Tumor : One plus one more

Urine : Opposite of you're out

Stopping The Hillbilly

This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. "You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked "'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.

Top Ten Indicators that a Redneck Has Been Working on Your Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Huntin".

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".