Redneck: Raid

You might be a redneck if... You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You Might Be a Redneck 44

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Your mom calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

Three Redneck Lies

1. The pickup is paid for.
2. I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence.