Two Malls

Q: What two malls are in every city?
A: The one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

Ebonics Second Language

A friend of mine has an 18 year old son named Leroy. He attends Oakland High School where they teach ebonics as a second language. Last week he was given an easy homework assignment; all he had to do was put each of the following words into a sentence.

1. Rectum: I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady rectum both.
2. Hotel: I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the hotel everybody!
3. Odyssey: I told my bro, you odyssey the jugs on this hoe.
4. Stain: My mother-in-law axed me if I was stain for dinner again.
5. Seldom: My cousin gave me two tickets to the Knicks game so I seldom.
6. Penis: I  went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said penis!
7. Catacomb: Don King was at the fight the other night, man, somebody give that catacomb.
8. Forclose: If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money forclose.
9. Undermind: There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment undermine.
10. Tripoli: I was gonna buy my old lady a bra but I couldn't fine no tripoli.
11. Disappointment: My parole officer told me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the big house.
12. Income: I just got in bed wit dee hoe then income my wife
13. Honor: At the rape trial, the judge axed my buddy, who be honor first?
14. Fortify: I axed da hoe how much, and she says "Fortify".
15. Israel: Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said "man, that looks fake!" He said "No! Israel!"
    Needless to say Leroy got an A.

Double Whammy

Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew?
A: You have to sit in the back of the oven.