Battery Race

Q: What type of batteries to racists use?
A: Triple K.

Jump Out of the Plane

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you will survive."  The four open the door and look out below.  The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers, "God Save The Queen," and jumps.  The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers, "Viva La France," and he also jumps.  This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers, "Remember the Alamo," and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

Immigration Test

You know how they use to give immigrants a test when they came to America? Well the last question on the test was to use pink, green and yellow in a sentence. So when the Mexican had his turn he answered the last question: "When the phone goes 'GREEN GREEN GREEN' I PINK it up and say 'YELLOW?'"