Political Jokes

Three guys die and go to hell.  One is from Texas, one from Florida and one from California. The devil tells them that they each get one phone call back to earth but it may be very expensive. The Texan calls his pastor in Dallas and speaks with him for 15 minutes. The devil tells him it will cost three million dollars. The Texan promptly writes the devil a check and 'poof' he's back in Texas. The guy from Florida takes the phone and calls his Minister, speaks for 30 minutes and the devil tells him the cost is six million dollars. The Floridian quickly writes the devil a check and 'poof' he is back in Florida. Finally, the guy from California gets his turn with the phone and calls a social worker.  He talks for nearly 4 hours and when finished the devil says it will cost him just four dollars.  The guy from California smirks at the great deal he got but can't help asking why.  The devil said that Governor Newsom's liberal policies made California a living hell, so the call was local.

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?", asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?

A: A competent liberal President.

Q: Why isn't Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary Clinton?

A: She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: "All the President's Women."