Q: What's the difference between Astrology and Astronomy?
A: About 50 IQ points.
OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction
China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."
OLD METEORS never die, they just burn up
Q: How does an astronomer cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.