We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Space Exploration

China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

Old Planets

OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction

Old Meteors

OLD METEORS never die, they just burn up

More Hilarious Al Gore Quotes and Blunders

  • "I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
  • "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
  • "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
  • "Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
  • "Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
  • "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
  • "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
  • "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history."
  • "When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
  • "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make."

Astronomer Cut

Q: How does an astronomer cut his hair?

A: Eclipse it.