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The best jokes and joke writers!

Alien Visits

Q: Why haven't aliens visited our solar system?

A: They checked the reviews and we only have one star.

Can You See?

Bob: Can you see farther during the day or at night?

Joe: During the day of course.

Bob: Wrong! During the day you can only see the sun but at night you can see the stars.

Polish Scientistific Plans

Poland sent its top team of scientists to attend the international science convention, where all the countries of the world gathered to compare their scientific achievements and plans. The scientists listened to the United States describe how they were another step closer to a cure for cancer, and the Russians were preparing a space ship to go to Saturn, and Germany was inventing a car that runs on water. Soon, it was the Polish scientists' turn to speak. "Well, we are preparing a space ship to fly to the sun." This, of course was met with much ridicule. They were asked how they planned to deal with the sun's extreme heat. "Simple, we're going at night!"

Space Pirate

Q: What's a space pirate's favorite planet? 

A: mArrrs!

Armstrong Out

Buzz Aldrin commented on how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well" he said, "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we toss for it." "And he won?" I said. "Well, no" he mumbled. "The moon has low gravity so and the coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder. The twat."