Light Bulb Jokes - American Jokes

Why Only English

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English." He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Canadian Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Military Jokes (Navy Jokes)
Anonymous

Iraqi vs. American

Iraqi vs. American
Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors.
Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park.
Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation.
Average American Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards.
Average Iraqi Lines up by the thousands to die for country.
Average American Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty.
Average Iraqi Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West.
Average American Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies.
Average Iraqi Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise.
Average American Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die.
Average Iraqi Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest.
Average American Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip.
Average Iraqi Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius.
Average American Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein.

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Iraq Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

American Worker's Response

An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner reading the paper. He tells the waitress, "Please send Jesus a cup of coffee, on me." So the waitress takes Jesus a cup of coffee. Then an Arabic man with arthritis walks into the coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner. He says to the waitress "Send Jesus a muffin, on me." So the waitress sends Jesus a muffin. Finally an American man in a wheelchair rolls into the coffee shop and sees Jesus in the corner. He says to the waitress, "Tell Jesus I'll cover his bill." So the waitress tells Jesus. As Jesus was leaving the coffee house he says to the Irish man, "Thank you for the free coffee. Be healed!" Jesus touches the man's shoulder, and he was miraculously healed. Then Jesus went over to the Arabic man and said, "Thank you for the free muffin. Be healed!" Jesus lightly tapped the man's shoulder, and he was healed. Then jesus went over to the American man and said, "Thank you for covering my bill. Be healed!" As Jesus leaned over to touch him, the man yelled, "Don't touch me man! I'm on workers comp!!"

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jesus Jokes)
Anonymous