A Real Bastard

A little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears are streaming down his cheeks. An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. "What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?" "It's mean!", the boy sniffed, "My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!" "That's awful indeed!", the lady replied angrily, "Your father is a real bastard!' "Yes", said the little boy, "He had promised to me that I could do it."

Missing Baby

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.  One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.  The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"  Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

Rough Boys

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough!" The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"