Jokes about Kids

Weight Loss

One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom, how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling, but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?" His mother, very surprised, replies; "Honey you know how fat daddy is, I'm jumping on top of him to help him lose weight." The boy knows that's not working and tells his mother why... "Mom that's not going to help, because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work, and blows him back up again!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Woman On The Bus

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said:
"Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Animal Crackers

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened a box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the Boy explained, "so I'm looking for the seal!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous