Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.
Boy & Grandpa
A little boy comes running Into the room and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?" The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?"
The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"
Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the refrigerator?
A: He saw the salad dressing !
Q: Why don't Mexicans and blacks have children together?
A: They're afraid the kids will grow up too lazy to steal.
High Tea with Dad
A little girl is serving her father tea while her mother is out shopping. The mother comes home and the father says, "Watch this!" The little girl goes and serves the mother tea. The mother turns to the father and says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"