Meet the Father

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

Careers

Dad: Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Son: I want to be a pizza delivery boy or a plumber.
Dad: Stop watching porn son.

I Didn't Even Know!

Three drunks were sitting at a bar. The first one said, "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes."  He paused, "I didn't even know she smoked!"
The second drunk said, "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room, looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!" 
The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak.."I can beat that! I went into my daughter's room and looked under her pillow. I found a pack of condoms!!!"  He paused, "I didn't even know she had a penis!!!"