Cotton Balls

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Be Nice

Never make fun of a fat guy with a lisp... He's probably thick and tired of it.

Asteroid Hits Earth

Top Advantages of An Asteroid Really Hitting Earth

• You'd be able to surf in South Dakota.
• Wouldn't have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore.
• The one dinosaur on the planet (here's a clue..he's purple) would be extinct.
• We'd miss out on Tony Danza's or Jenny McCarthy's next sitcom.
• Puts a major damper on that Molly Hatchet/Judas Priest reunion tour.
• Pretty good chance that the Gorditas Dog from the Taco Bell commercials wouldn't survive.
• There'd be no more movies on the topic, that's for sure.