Hostage Gives Instructions

A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!"

Old Never Dies 11

• OLD RADIOS never die, they just stop receiving
• OLD RAILROADERS never die, they just derail
• OLD RAIN PUDDLES never die, they just dry up
• OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little "DINGHY"
• OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise
• OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission
• OLD SCHOOLS never die, they just lose their principals
• OLD SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt
• OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles
• OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point
• OLD SEERS never die, they just lose their vision
• OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away
• OLD SHEETROCKERS (dry wallers) never die, they just hang around
• OLD SHOES MAKERS never die, they just lose their sole
• OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast

Church Sunday

Two Men were leaving church on a bright Sunday morning. "You know," said the first friend, "I can always tell who the golfers are in church." "How's that?" asked his friend. "It's easy," he said. "Just look at who is praying with an interlocking grip."