Signs You Hired The Wrong Kid To Mow Your Lawn

Signs you hired the wrong kid to mow your lawn...

• He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag.
• On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats.
• Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher.
• Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head.
• You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher.
• He's fascinated by the details of you home security system.
• Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings.
• Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus.
• Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks.
• No toes.

Wild Elephant

Q: What is the easy way to get a wild elephant?
A: Get a tame one and annoy it!

88 Rednecks

Q: What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?
A: A family reunion.