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The best jokes and joke writers!

Tattoo

Me [lifting shirt]: I trust that these will cover it.

Tattoo artist: What are you doing?

Me: Paying you

Tattoo artist: I'm confused

Me: You know, tit for tat

Black Santa

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. Instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

Up and Down

Q: What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?

A: A witch stuck in a lift!

Piano Uncle

My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.

Weights

What weighs more? A gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

Water. Butane is a lighter fluid.