Boomerang

ME: I'd like to return a defective boomerang
SHOPKEEPER: Ok. Where is it?
ME: I have no idea

Women's T-Shirt Sayings

• I'm out of estrogen. I have a gun.
• Guys have feelings, too. But like... who cares?
• I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
• Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
• I hate everybody, and you're next.
• Please don't make me kill you.
• And your point is ...
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
• I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
• Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
• Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
• You KNOW you want me. 
• Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.
• Of course I don't look busy. . . I did it right the first time.
• Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
• I'm multitalented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.
• Do NOT start with me. You won't win.
• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
• All stressed out and no one to choke.
• I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
• If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
• Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
• Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• Objects Under This Shirt ARE Larger Than They Appear.

Condom Size Test

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the clerk. "Gee, I don't know." "Go see Sophie in Aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch and yells, "Medium!" Mortified, the guy hurries over to pay and quickly leaves. Another guy comes in to buy condoms and gets sent to Sophie in Aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays and leaves. A high school kid comes in to buy condoms. "What size?" Embarrassed, the kid says, "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie. A few minutes later, Sophie yells, "Cleanup in Aisle 4!"