Too Big To Bury

Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin?
A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoe-box.

Americans

Two Americans were walking through Leicester but couldn't agree on how to pronounce it so they decided to stop for lunch and ask the waitress. They sat down to eat their lunch and called the waitress over: "Can you tell us where we are please but say it slowly", to which the waitress replied "Bur-ger Ki-ng"

Inseparable

Me and my wife are almost inseparable, why just last week it took four state troopers and a dog to tear us apart!