Ponderings Collection 14

• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
• I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver's side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.
• After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?
• This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulance or a firetruck.
• I went out today and bought everything I've been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.
• The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
• I really feel sorry for Madonna's baby, having to grow without a last name.
• Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
• The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

License To Drink

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

T.V. Remote

Q: Why does the TV like the remote?
A: Because it turns it on!