Condoms and Baby Oil

Did you know that baby oil will dissolve condoms yet is gentle on human skin?
So we have a new version of Rock, Paper, Scissors:
Baby Oil defeats Condoms
Baby defeats Baby Oil
Condoms defeat Baby
 

Answering Machine - Money

After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

Fancy Cookbook Instructions

Two bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it! Every one of the recipes began the same way -- 'Take a clean dish..."