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The best jokes and joke writers!

New Psychiatric Sign

Q: What sign do you find on the door to the psychiatric ward?

A: "Please do not disturb further."

Eat Now

Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."

Buckeyes vs Wolverines!

In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating, "Play like champions today!"

There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says, "Don't forget your HELMET!"

Real Classified Ads 1

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700

VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15

DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK + BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.

Betty Crocker Passes

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away? The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.