Signs and Notices 17

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
• An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
• Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
• On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"
• A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"
• Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

Signs and Notices 03

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations:
At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

Signs and Notices

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR