Greek Yogurt

Bought a Greek style yogurt. When I opened it there was just a note inside that said "IOU one yogurt"

U.S. Citizen Application

A woman from another country wants to come to the United States. So she goes to the visa department to get a visa. When she gets the form, she fills out her name. Her first name is ''Wanna'' and her last name, ''Fuckme.'' The visa guy reads over the application and says, ''I'm sorry I can't accept this name. It's inappropriate and you're going to have to change it.'' So, the woman leaves, and is gone for a month and when she returns, she fills out the same form again.
She writes her first name, ''Wanna,'' and her last name ''Fuckme-Please.'''

Few Words

A woman catches a train and finds herself sitting opposite a little old Scotsman wearing a kilt. “Excuse me,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I always wanted to know what a man wears under one of these things.” The Scotsman replies, “I’m a man o’ few words, madam. Give me yer hand…”