Pedophile at Heavens Gates
A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He's stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: "You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in hell of meeting god?" "Fuck God... I'm after the baby Jesus."
A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."
Michael Jackson's Bed Time
Q: How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A: When the big hand is on the little hand.
Q: What's the key to attract most of Hollywood?
A: B minor.
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?
A: There is a great musician in you.