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The best jokes and joke writers!

Pedophile at Heavens Gates

A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He's stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: "You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in hell of meeting god?" "Fuck God... I'm after the baby Jesus."

Blowjob Punishment

A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."

Michael Jackson's Bed Time

Q:  How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?

A:  When the big hand is on the little hand.

Casting Couch

Q: What's the key to attract most of Hollywood?

A: B minor.

Michael Jackson

Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?

A: There is a great musician in you.