The Vows

When Ken a married man for 50 years died, his wife Edie was devastated. A couple of months later, Edie also died. Once in heaven, Edie anxiously looked for Ken. Suddenly, behind a cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman. She ran towards him, calling his name: “Ken. Darling… Ken” Ken said: “Hold your horses woman, and don’t ‘darling’ me. The deal was very clear… “Until death do us part”.

Helper Virus

Q: Why did the Coronavirus cross the street?
A: To help seniors get to the other side

Superbowl Seat

Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decided to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "no". Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?!" The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "That's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?" "No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral."