Dark Humor Jokes
Acne and Catholic Priests
Q: What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12!
Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through hallways on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses, "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward."
Like Mother Like Daughter
A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor. He says "Doctor, I want to put her on the pill." The Doctor says "Why?!? Is she sexually active?" The guy says "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."
Daddy, When Will I Get One?
A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It's at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says..... "Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?" The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks.... "When your mommy goes to the mall!"