Dark Humor Jokes

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

Six Weeks to Live

A guy goes to see his doctor, and the doctor says, "Well, I'm afraid you have six weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh damn, well what should I do doctor?" The doctor tells him, "You should take a mud bath once a day for the next six weeks," and the guy asks, "Why? Is that supposed to help?" and the doctor says, "No, but it'll get you used to being in the ground."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: hollow1030

Hostage Situation

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Man On Bridge

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well ... are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

Categories: Religion Jokes (Protestant Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous