Four Men Learning English

There once was four men all from foreign countries, and none of them spoke a hint of english. The first man liked to listen to the opera and learned to sing, "Me! Me! Me! Me!" The second guy got a job at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives! Forks and knives!" The third guy got a job at a candy store and learned to say, "Goody, goody gum drops!" And the fourth man was quite lazy and sat in front of the TV all day and learned to say, "Plug it in, plug it in!" off the commercial. One day the four friends were walking down the road, when they come across a dead woman laying on the side walk, a police officer runs up to them and asks, "Do you know who killed this woman?" The first man then sang, "Me! Me! Me! Me!" The police man then continues, "What did ya kill er with?' And the second man replied, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" The police man, then asked, "You're goin to jail!" and the third man said, "Goody, goody gum drops!"and then the police officer threatened, "We're going put you in the electric chair!" and the third, and laziest man replied, "Plug it in, plug it in!"

Fred and DooDah Fishing

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

Great Britain Culture

In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen.
And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.