Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven

St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo." Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo. Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did no where near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?" St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."

Clinton and Comey

Q: Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton?
A: Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails.

Muslim Teen

Q: How is an American teen girl different from an Muslim teen girl?
A An American teen girl gets stoned before she has sex.