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The best jokes and joke writers!

E.T. Welcome

Q: What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?

A: Where on Earth have you been?

David Copperfield and His Wife

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick? "I will," replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife Claudia and a table."  "Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.  He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts fucking her from behind.  David is now very pissed off and says, "That isn't a trick!!!"  The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies, "I know, it's fucking magic!"

Shark Week - Lender

Q: To whom do fish go to borrow money?

A: The loan shark!

Shark Week - Sharp Dresser

Q: What did the shark ask the barber to do?

A: Make me look like I'm dressed to kill.

Britney Spears & Computers

Q: How is a computer like Britney Spears?

A They're both cheap, white, and plastic.