Blonde Pistol

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

Blonde - Back Seat

This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car.
After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?"
She replies, "NO!"
Flabbergasted, he says, "Why not?"
To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"

Blonde Career

Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"