Bar Jokes - Drunk Jokes

Clearing It

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Singing in a Bar Jokes)
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Anonymous

Redneck Driving

Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

Categories: Redneck Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous

Come Home To This

This guy, about 40, walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he pulls out a picture of a beautiful girl, about 20. He orders drink after drink after drink. Finally, the bartender asks why he's getting drunk. "I have to come home to this!'' the guy says, pointing to the picture of the beautiful girl. "What's wrong with her?'' asks the bartender. ''She's beautiful and half your age!''
''Exactly. That's my daughter.''

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Anonymous