Bar Jokes

Want to Dance?

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self conscious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. "Would you like to dance with me?" he asked. She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her, "BIG NOSE!"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Introduction Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Nose Jokes) , Pickup Lines (Guy to Girl) , Pickup Lines (Pickup Rejections) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Judge Has Some Fun

A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Judge Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

I Wish It Were Dark

Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says "I sure wish that sheep were Marilyn Monroe." The other says, "I just wish it were dark."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Sheep Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous