Who's Got a Bigger Crotch?

There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch. The first women said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me." The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me." The third lady slid down the bar stool.

Two Blondes Walk Into a Bar

Two blondes walked in to a bar... Thought they'd see that coming.

Definition of Panda

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".