Bar Jokes

A Duck Walks Into A Bar

A Duck walks into a bar,
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread [After a few minutes]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: Look, we don't have any bread [In a little while]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: We don't have any fucking bread!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me if I've got any fucking bread once more I'm gonna nail your fucking bill to this bar.
Duck: You got any nails?
Barman: NO!
Duck: You got any bread?

Categories: Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Duck Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Clearing It

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Singing in a Bar Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Redneck Driving

Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

Categories: Redneck Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous