Mixed Signals

Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"

Surprising Life Information

There were three men in a bar. All three were sitting at the bar stool and one got up to use the bathroom. The other two men started talking. One man said, ''So what's new in your life?'' The other responded, ''Well I just found out my son got a promotion. He used to be a janitor at the bank and now he is an executive. On top of that there's someone special in his life. He just bought his new love a brand new Lexus.'' The other man says, ''My son also got a promotion and he has decided to settle down. He bought his new love a new house on the beach.'' The third man comes back from the bathroom. He looked kind of upset so the other two men asked what's eating him. He responded, ''I just found out that my son is gay. The good part is his lover bought him a brand new Lexus and a new house on the beach.''

Bar Visit

Q: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
A: OUCH!