Fish Jokes 2

Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A Sturgeon!
Q: Where do little fishes go every morning?
A: To plaice school!
Q: What fish goes up the river at 100 mph?
A: A motor pike!
Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
A: He prawned everything!
Q: What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
A: Skate!
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh!
Q: What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbors?
A: A hermit crab!
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible!
Q: Why did the whale cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!

Squid Squad

Q: How does a squid go into battle?
A: Well armed

Ponder These

• If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver?
• Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
• Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
• Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
• I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
• Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
• Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself.
• Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Iraq.
• Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner.
• What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?
• Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?