You might be a redneck if...
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Collie with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
A: When it's raining cats and dogs!
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle!