Gay Whale

Q: In a pod of whales, how can you tell which one is gay?
A: He's the one that tips the boat and sucks up the "seamen!"

Cockfights

Q: You go to a cockfight. How can you identify the Polish guy?
A: He's the one with a duck.

Tree Talk

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."