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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cow Bells

Q:  Why do cows wear bells?

A:  Because their horns don't work!

Ladies Night Out

Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.

The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."

The second woman said, "I blew chunks."

The third woman said, "I burned down my house."

After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won!" The second woman said, "Wait a minute, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."

Seagull

Q: What do you call a seagull flying over the bay?

A: A bagel.

Hungry Turkey

Q: Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving?

A: Because he's already stuffed!

Turkey Shoping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."