There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?" After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good time to be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he had to think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion. Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide.The hunter, who was surfing the web on his iPad, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter's shirt and hat, and started to scroll down the hunter's iPad. A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunter reading the iPad, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?" From behind the iPad the gorilla answered, "You mean the one that screwed the lion in the ass?" Flabbergasted, the lion said, "Holy Shit! It's posted on the internet already?"
Hunter Shot By a Fox
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated Press
A fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday. Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said. Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly, Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.
Cat and Canary
Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!
Q: What are the cleverest bees?
A: Spelling bees!
Q: What should you do if you find a jaguar asleep on your bed?
A: Sleep on the sofa.