Funny Nursery Rhymes
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He neverlands
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye
I'm a big girl I won't cry
I'm just glad that cows don't fly
Jack And Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high pulled down his fly and Jill said I don't wanna!
Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away! Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump. "My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood. Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood. With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you fuck off, I'm trying to take a shit!"
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
A: So he could see her crack!