Q: Why did the chicken get sent off?
A: For persistent fowl play!
Q: What did the boy say when his Mom told him to stop pulling the cat’s tail?
A: I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.
Signs And Notices 15
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
- Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
- Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
- Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
- Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
- Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
- Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
- Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
Dog And Skunk
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: Rid of the dog!
He Sees Red
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog!