Puppy on a Plane
On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snunk him on board the airplane. About 30 minutes into the trip a flight attendant noticed the man shaking and quivering. "Are you OK, sir?", asked the stew? "Yes, I'm fine." said the man. Sometime later the flight attendant noticed the man moaning and shaking again. "Are you sure you're alright sir?" "Yes." said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the front of my pants." 'Whats wrong?" asked the flight attendant, "Isn't he house broken?" "No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"
Men And Cats
Q: How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?
A: They both hide when they see the vacuum cleaner.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A: A sour puss.
Taco Bell Dogs
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me!" So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!