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The best jokes and joke writers!

Jail Time

Q: Why did the chicken get sent off?

A: For persistent fowl play!

Semantics

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom told him to stop pulling the cat’s tail?

A: I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.

Signs And Notices 15

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

  • Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
  • Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
  • Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
  • Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
  • Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
  • Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
  • Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
  • Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Dog And Skunk

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?

A: Rid of the dog!

He Sees Red

Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?

A: A bull dog!