Old Chatter

You know you're getting old when you tell someone you woke up with a stiffy and they think your wife died in her sleep.

Fashion Luck

I know I don't keep up with current fashion, but I didn't think my clothes were that outdated until I went to a Halloween party to pick up my wife and won first prize in the fancy dress contest for my Victorian gentleman costume.

Spread the News

I threw up while reading the paper
You've probably heard, it's all over the news