Profession Jokes - Teacher Jokes
Governor's Halloween Party
One Halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse". As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane" and so on as each guest arrived. Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe. "Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS department the doorman asked "How shall I announce you?" The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation" "I'm very sorry sir", said the doorman in obvious shock, "I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering." "O.K." said the professor. "Just say I came in my pants"
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again."
"Well, uh, yes, it is." replied Carol. "I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane."
"Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said the teacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in."
"Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked."
Teacher: "Name six wild animals."
Pupil: "Four elephants and two lions!"
Light Bulb - Students
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two and a professor to take credit.
When the formal private briefing of the attractive new teacher, by the vice-principal was finished, the vice-principal took a few puffs on his pipe and said, "I have an informal piece of advice for you, Miss Bell. There's only one way you can get along in this school without submitting to the sexual advances of the principal." "Oh my God! Well, er, what was is that?" "I'll explain it, " he continued, "as soon as you've undressed."