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The best jokes and joke writers!

Male Chromosomes vs. Female Chromosomes

Q: How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?

A: Pull down their genes!

Replacing Lab Rats with Lawyers

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

  1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.
  2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.
  3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.
  4. There are some things even a rat won't do.

Oxygen is Essential

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

Marine Biology

Q: Why did the college student fail his marine biology class?

A: His grade was below C level.

The Frog Scientist

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands. He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet. Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet. He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book. Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less fee. Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book, "Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!"