Meteorologist & Sex Life

Q: What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm and a woman's sex life have in common?
A: They're both concerned with how many inches and how long it will last.

Old Jewish Man

An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, "Operator, giff me beck the party!" She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over again." He says, "What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party." She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again." He says, "Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere!" And he hangs up. Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, strapping guys standing there who say, "We came to take your telephone out." He says, "Vy?" They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. But if you'd like to call up and apologize, we'll leave the telephone here." He says, "Vait a minute, vat's da rush, vat's da hurry?" He goes to the telephone and dials. "Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?" She says, "Yes?"He says, "Vell, get ready -- dey're bringin' it to ya!"

Bad Waiter

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy" yelled the customer, "sticking your thumb in my steak?!"
"What," answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"