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Profession Jokes
Delivering Radioactive Waste
A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment. Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor.
Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation.
Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick.
Assessor: Alright then. Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning?
Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job.
Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive?
Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined.
Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept?
Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead.
Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container.
Trucker: Yeah, that's right. All lead.
Assessor: Then I can't see how you could claim against him for radiation poisoning.
Trucker: I'm not. I claiming for lead poisoning.
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Hunter Shot By a Fox
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated Press
A fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday. Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said. Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly, Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.
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The Signalman's Test
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station". "What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train crash!"
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