Profession Jokes

Mortuary Answering Machine

Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous

Welders and Prostitutes

Q: What do welders and prostitutes have in common?
A: You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod & money.

Categories: Riddles , Profession Jokes , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Anonymous

Public Stock

A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man. He says to her, "What's going on?" She says, "Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!"

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Profession Jokes
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Anonymous